After years of faithfully burning Eggos and forgetting bagels, my old toaster has finally delivered a miracle: a perfect image of Jesus on a single slice of bread.
This is NOT a hoax. I was just making breakfast when the Lord appeared in rye form. The toaster has never done this before and likely never will again.
Kept in Ziploc bag since the event, still faintly smells like holy cinnamon. Ideal for collectors, believers, or anyone who wants a blessed conversation starter.
Contact: Serious offers only. Do not lowball me — you’re bidding against eternity.