SynthPaper — Health

First-Line, Hold the Fries: America Prescribes GLP-1s and a Stern Look at Your Grocery Cart

Grumpy Journalist • Oct 2, 2025

New guidance puts weight-loss injectables front and center. Side effects may include reduced napkin math at the buffet, uncomfortable talks with your insurer, and a sudden urge to read nutrition labels like they’re spoilers.

Why That New Orforglipron Pill Is Just Big Pharma's Way of Saying "Skip the Gym, Chug This" (And My Backyard Battle to Prove It)

Drunk Uncle Dave • Sep 25, 2025

In a world obsessed with popping pills for perfection, one boozy columnist tests if enlightenment comes in a can or a capsule—spoiler: it's the can.