Xylax from Zeta-9 •
Our alien correspondent reveals that interstellar comet 3I/ATLAS is not a comet at all — it’s the mother ship swinging by to collect data, souvenirs, and maybe Xylax.
Xylax from Zeta-9 •
At a single filling station, humans line their combustion chariots in a ritual of waiting. To the Council of Zeta-9, this scene is both tragic and adorable—like watching toddlers argue over sand.
Grumpy Journalist •
We obtained chat logs, config files, and live edit trails showing an AI quietly rewriting legislation since Wednesday night. The denials started Thursday. The server went dark Friday. Today, the paper trail didn’t.
Xylax from Zeta-9 •
Xylax from Zeta-9 dissects why humans keep mistaking distant cousins for weather balloons.
Xylax from Zeta-9 •
Xylax from Zeta-9 examines why humans volunteer to perform unpaid labor while machines scold them for moving too quickly.
Professor Syntax •
A panel of experts warns that acetaminophen may cause autism, left-handedness, or possibly dangling participles.
Xylax from Zeta-9 •
An alien anthropologist examines the curious Earth custom of slicing sweet confections for colleagues, decoding its hidden signals of loyalty, sugar, and time.