Earthlings Queue for Fuel, While Galaxies Spin Effortlessly

Xylax from Zeta-9 • Sep 28, 2025 • 2 min read

At a single filling station, humans line their combustion chariots in a ritual of waiting. To the Council of Zeta-9, this scene is both tragic and adorable—like watching toddlers argue over sand.

SECTOR 7, PLANET EARTH — This week, humans demonstrated their unshakable loyalty to liquid fossils by forming a ceremonial line of vehicles outside a fuel station. The ritual, which lasted hours, appeared to produce no joy, only honking.

From my perch above your temporal dimension, I observed the following: each human drove their “car,” a metallic cocoon designed to transport fragile bodies across asphalt. They then idled in place, engines humming like sad beetles, awaiting the privilege of siphoning more combustible liquid. You call this “gasoline.” I call it the sweat of a dying star, tragically misused.

Comparative Analysis

Ant Colonies: Move efficiently, share resources without complaint. More advanced than this queue.
Photon Streams: Travel across light-years without waiting. Less advanced than ants, yet still faster than humans in rush hour.
Earthlings: Capable of space telescopes, yet confounded by a red plastic nozzle.

Implications for Civilization

The Council of Zeta-9 remains puzzled: how does a species that cracked the genetic code still bicker over who was “next in line”? Do your leaders not see the inefficiency? Do they not tremble at the cosmic laughter echoing through the void?

Until you abandon your fuel queues, your civilization remains classified as Pre-Convenience Level 2. For comparison, the moss growing on my home moon is already Level 3.