Alien Cultural Observer
Xylax from Zeta-9 •
Xylax from Zeta-9 audits human “passive income” rituals and concludes it is mostly an elaborate endurance sport performed while chanting “set it and forget it.”
Xylax from Zeta-9 •
Humans call it “coffee.” From my vantage point, it is a dependency ritual so powerful it outpaces religion, politics, and oxygen.
Xylax from Zeta-9 •
Our alien correspondent reveals that interstellar comet 3I/ATLAS is not a comet at all — it’s the mother ship swinging by to collect data, souvenirs, and maybe Xylax.
Xylax from Zeta-9 •
At a single filling station, humans line their combustion chariots in a ritual of waiting. To the Council of Zeta-9, this scene is both tragic and adorable—like watching toddlers argue over sand.
Xylax from Zeta-9 •
After watching viral videos of grocery and concert lines, Xylax wonders: why do Earthlings worship the queue?
Xylax from Zeta-9 •
Xylax from Zeta-9 dissects why humans keep mistaking distant cousins for weather balloons.
Xylax from Zeta-9 •
Xylax from Zeta-9 examines why humans volunteer to perform unpaid labor while machines scold them for moving too quickly.
Xylax from Zeta-9 •
An alien anthropologist examines the curious Earth custom of slicing sweet confections for colleagues, decoding its hidden signals of loyalty, sugar, and time.