McDonald’s has announced the triumphant return of the so-called Extra Value Meal, a phrase that once meant “cheap dinner” but now means “I hope you remembered to pawn your grandmother’s necklace.”
The fast food giant insists this is a nostalgic nod to the 1990s, when you could walk in with a crumpled five-dollar bill and walk out with fries, a burger, a drink, and enough regret to last the evening. Now? That same “deal” runs you nearly $14 — but don’t worry, the straw is still free. For now.
Executives say the new rollout is about “bringing back affordability.” If this is affordability, then I suppose my landlord is doing me a favor by raising the rent every year. Somewhere in corporate HQ, a PowerPoint slide actually declared: People love value. Let’s charge more for it.
To be fair, the meal does come with fries — fewer than before, and cooked in the tears of your bank account. At least they’re salty enough to mask the taste of disappointment.
So, thank you, McDonald’s. Thank you for reminding us that in 2025, the word “value” means nothing, except maybe the extra value of watching a clown in a yellow jumpsuit laugh at your wallet.
