How I Accidentally Invented “Beer Yoga” in My Driveway

Drunk Uncle Dave • Sep 24, 2025 • 2 min read

Drunk Uncle Dave swears he combined mindfulness, fitness, and Coors Light. His neighbors disagree.

You ever wake up on a Sunday and think, “I’m going to get my life together”? That was me last weekend. I rolled out my yoga mat (technically a beach towel from Myrtle Beach ’09) and cracked a cold one—because hydration is hydration, right? Thus was born what I now call “Beer Yoga.”

The Warm-Up

I started strong: Mountain Pose, beer in hand. My neighbor Karen yelled, “You’re supposed to breathe, not burp!” But I say: same difference, both release toxins. Next, I attempted Warrior II, except my can of Coors Light became a balance prop. Spoiler: aluminum is not structurally sound when half-empty.

The Audience

By Pose #3, I had a crowd: two neighborhood kids on scooters, Karen’s husband recording for “insurance purposes,” and the mailman who asked if this was a sanctioned class. I told him yes, $5 a drop-in. He left his route to join for Child’s Pose (which, frankly, was just lying down on the pavement with a beer balanced on your back).

The Enlightenment

After 30 minutes, I discovered spiritual truths. One: Downward Dog and spilled lager smell eerily similar. Two: a driveway is not level, especially after four cans. Three: enlightenment is basically realizing you’ve created the first workout that ends at a taco truck.

Was it graceful? No. Did I nearly sprain an ankle? Yes. But my core is stronger, my fridge is lighter, and I’ve got three Venmo requests from neighbors who think they paid for a “class.” So if you see me trademark “Beer Yoga™,” just remember: innovation is what happens when flexibility meets poor judgment.